okay so here is part of the first ch


The Son of Neptune

Chapter 1
(Percy)

“That’s 41 to 0”Dakota said “Percy you’re soooo sad. I keep on beating you and I’m a daughter of Apollo were archers not swordsmen.”
“Well if you guys would let me fight Greek.” I said Dakota was great she was one of the only campers who would talk to me since I was Greek. She had wavy sandy blonde hair and green eyes outlined in a gold-ish color.
“You know why you can’t fight Greek.” she said “Anyways its time for dinner.”
“Time really fly’s when I’m getting my butt kicked. Couldn’t you go easy on me?”
“I have been going easy on you. At least you’re better at this than archery. Now come on or we’re going to be late. I’ll race you.”
“Oh you’re on. 1, 2, 3 go.”

“Ha I win.” I said
“Cool” she said “I have to go to my table see you later.”
“See ya.” I went to sit at my table all alone

After dinner I ran into Gwen who was also cool. She had bright red hair, hazel eyes, and freckles everywhere. She looked soooo much like my friend Rachel Dare it was scary. What was scarcer is that both are oracles.
“Hey Percy, Da said you remembered something.”
“Ya my girlfriend’s name is Annabeth.”
“Oh well Lupa wants to talk to you.” She looked like she wanted me to remember more.



I headed to the camp temples to see Lupa.
“Hello young hero” I heard a voice say .then the 7 ft tall she wolf appeared. I kneeled before the great she wolf.
“Hello my lady Gwen told me to see you.”
“Yes you are one of the seven” with that Lupa disappeared



if i get 3 replies in the next 5h i will post the rest today

Cliff hanger! i like how you started it out, good beginnning!

Yea, it was awesome!!!!
1 more post c'mon people!!! LOL

*heres the rest of the ch*


I headed to the ocean it always made me feel beter. on my way there I spoted Laney Topps. A tall girl from the mars cabin. She was picking on a kid from the Somnus cabin. his name was Jimmy miners. He was short, chubby, and not fast.
"ha ha Jimmy can't reach his pillow"she saidk
"give him his pillow back" I said
"who do you think you are filthy greek"then Laney pushed me to the ground. it was a good thing Dakota walked up because I was sure i would have started a fight.
"don't lisen to her your not that dirt" she said
" ha ha funny" i said
" whoa who stole your joy"
"lupa she told me i was one of the 7. i just finished a prophcy"
" look on the bright side you don't have to go in the styx again"
"oh yeah really bright" i sat on the beach and watched the sunset with Dakota thinking about all my problems.



ch2 if 2 coments 5h

guys spam is now welcom so 1, 2, 3

SPAM

SOMEONE POST THIS FORUM IS PATHETIC

Hahahahaha pie is yummy!! I luv spam!! SPAM SPAM SPAM!!
I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT MY IPOD ON CAPS LOCK!!!!
MY PUPPY IS FUZZY!! I GOTS PICS OF HER ON MY PROFILE!!

Some contrictive criticism~ the beginning confused me.... U should slow things down cuz rite now, something happens, then half a second later something else happens

thanks it was longer but it was prety bad so i cut out the lame parts(begining is fast but it starts to get slower)

post again sorry i couldnt put it in soon enuf still post

okay here is ch 2 my story is still pretty fast pace


ch2
percy

my dream stunk.i was on a mouktain top with annabeth, some blonde guy, and a lady made of dirt.
"i have2 of you and ill use both of you to get more"dirt lady walked over to annabeth"issn't that right percy" she looked strait at me.
my dream changed.i was at the beach with my friend grover."perrrrrrrcy" he said"i've been trying to make contact for months.now annabeths missing"
"so that was real"the dream started to fade
"wait percy whats re..." iwoke up thinking about what just happened.


after breakfast i knew i needed to find gwen and reyna. reyna and i didn't really get along but she loved jason who i asumed was the blonde guy.reyna was short but don't let that fool you she was a daughter of bellona the roman godess of war.she once disarmed and pinned a man twice her size with only a spone.every one tells me she isthe third best fighter at camp.other than being short she had bright blue eyes and the blondest hair i have ever seen.
"hey"i said
"oh great what dose he want"she said pointing at me.
"come on rey be nice"gwen said"what is it percy"
"i had a dream last night"i said
"sounds like you need gwen" reyna said leaving
"no wait it had jason in it"
"i'm lisening" she said. once i finished telling my dream gwen started a propocie

son of sea
daugter of light
children of war
help gods unite
save thy love
beware the grond
and one shall be lost
yet never found

"i'll get her to the medic you get everyone together.we just got a quest"



ok rest of ch later

CHARACTERS:
PERCY-POSIDON-GREEN EYES BLACK HAIR
DAKOTA-APOLLO-BLONDE HAIR GREEN EYES
REYNA-BELLONA-BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYES SHORT

MINOR CHARACTERS:
GWEN-MORTAL-RED HAIR GREEN EYES
LANNY-MARS-TALL???????
JIMMY-SOMUNUS-CHUBBY SHORT???????

CHARACTERS METIONED:
JASON-JUPITER-BLONDE HAIRBLUE EYES
ANNABETH-ATHENA-BLONDE HAIR GRAY EYES

CHRACTERS TO BE INTRODUCED:
PIPER-APHRODITE-BROWN HAIR MULTI COLORED EYES
LEO-HEPHSTUS-BROWN HAIR BROWN EYES
BOBBY-???????-???????
HAZEL-???????-???????


(HELP YOU ALL TO KEEP UP PLUS ITS FUN TO MAKE)

heres the rest


the entire campmet in the arenato dicuss the propocie.
"percy & i suposed to go'son of sea' 'child of war'"reyna said
"hold up i agree the we should go but it also said 'daughter of light' and 'children of war'"i said
reyna sent me a death glare"so we bring dakota and bobby"
"i'm in "dakota said
"me too"bobby agreed.he had the same blonde hair and grey eyes.he looked alot like annabeth.
"wait mars is a god of war you should bring on of his kids"laney said
"fine well bring lillian"reyna said
"i'm coll with that"i said
"us too"bobby said
"wait" laney said "why dose she get to go"
"because we can tolorate her best"i said'lillian are you in?'
"TOTALLY!"she said
"wait" this time it was hazel a girl from the venus cabin"'save thy love' im bobby's only love and i don't need saving"bobby was blushing dakota looked ready to puke
"we think its jason or percys girl friend"
"okay so the last part'and one shall be lost yet never found"we all looked less excited.
"well deal with that when the time comes"i said
"how will you unite the gods"gwen asked she had been quiet the entire time
"i guess we'll have to deal with that too"






CHARACTERS:
PERCY-POSIDON-GREEN EYES BLACK HAIR
DAKOTA-APOLLO-BLONDE HAIR GREEN EYES
BOBBY-MINERVA-BLODE HAIR GRAY EYES
REYNA-BELLONA-BLONDE HAIR BLUE EYES SHORT

MINOR CHARACTERS:
GWEN-MORTAL-RED HAIR GREEN EYES
LANNY-MARS-TALL???????
JIMMY-SOMUNUS-CHUBBY SHORT???????
HAZEL-VENUS-???????
LILLIAN-MARS-???????

CHARACTERS METIONED:
JASON-JUPITER-BLONDE HAIRBLUE EYES
ANNABETH-ATHENA-BLONDE HAIR GRAY EYES

CHRACTERS TO BE INTRODUCED:
PIPER-APHRODITE-BROWN HAIR MULTI COLORED EYES
LEO-HEPHSTUS-BROWN HAIR BROWN EYES
?OTHERS?

Awesome,
did u want help with ur characters or is that just to help us remember what people look like and who their godly parent is??

wow this is great! Its very exciting already!!!!! :)

it was just to keep up and all but i could use help with someof the question marks i need to figure out that usually.


thanks

when will u post?

tomorow i think not tonight

can't post today too much hw



2 ch tomorrow hopefully

can't post full ch



ch 3
dakota
preview


i went back to my room to pack for the quest.
"lets see toothbrush,extra set of cloths"
"knock knock any one home"



really short preview i know but it just shows whose pov really and gives some suspence.

This is an awesome story!

to much hw 2 orjects and more can't post once i can you will get tons of ch. 4 or 5

Uhhh I hope I can see 4!!

I LOVE IT

okay I'll post Friday, Saturday, and Sunday if i get 10 comments from 10 different people by Friday night (10 ch if more comments more ch.)




























































































































































































































































































































































































begin

ok post soon! i cant wait!

POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST POST

:) ok i commented but i saw it too late.

I'LL POST TOMORROW

Yes post post!!!!! :)

i'm only posting 2 ch since we didn't reach the goal.



ch 3
dakota

i went back to my room to pack for the quest.
"lets see toothbrush,extra set of cloths"
"knock knock any one home" it was bobby.he looked sooo hot the way his blonde hair and gray eyes really complemented each other. he was werring his purple t-shirt and some worn jeans. whoa can't think like this he has a girlfriend.
"hey"i said
"hey you already packed?"he asked
"ya,I'm really excited."
"so is lillian"
"ya untill Haz brought up 'and one shall be lost yet never found'"

"hey don't blame her she's super worrid for me.i went over their and she cried in my shoulder for 2 hours before she could calm down enough for me to get away"
"ya ya i undertand you always seem to find trouble"
"i think you are getting me confussed with yourself"
"hey not nice"
"sorry Da"he came over and gave me a hug. my stomach had butterflies in it.
"It's okay."
"anyways i need to talk to you in private"
"now?" i asked
"ya now!"
"ok to the hide out"
*******
"whoa we havn't been here in years"Bobby said as we walked through the forest to the the the secret getaway.the hide out was big enough for 6 people but only had been used for 3 little kids.
"do you remeber when we built it with jas?"
"of course what were we 5 or 6"Bokbby replied
"7"i corrected
"right"
"sooo what did you want to talk about"
"Da you know your my best friend right"
"ya"i said a liite disapointed i always hoped to be maore than friends

"its about rey" he said as we entered the club house. i looked around i saw a picture of all of us on the night of jason's initiation. i shudered in the rememberence and rubed at my tatoo on my arm. bobby notices and gives my a hug.
"that was a bad night."he said. he was only suposed to fight only on storm spirit but ended up fighting 6 me and bobby ended up saving me and we all had our initiationall on the same night.
"what about her" i finaly said
"shes starting to worry me" he said as they sat down
"how" i asked
"the whole jason thing i mean i miss him to but she is really over reacting"
"he was her boyfried and her best friend"
"so"
"imagen me or haz going missing wouldn't you search for us"
"ya but she won't eat or sleep. i had to stuff a hotdog down in her mouth yesterday"
"i think the quest will help"
" your right come on curfee is in 10" i picked up the picture
"lets bring this on the quest jas might want it"



rest of ch later

This is so good !! Great job keep on writing!!!!!

Post soon can't wait for next chapter post soon post post post post post!!!!!!!!!!

so sorry can't post till saterday but i'll try to post alot

contiued ch 3

I had the best dream EVER!!!!!! It was of Bobby and me at the beach. We were 9.
"hey stop splashing" bobby said "i'm the oldest"
"by two months" I replied" plus its my birthday"
"guys get out of the water. we have to pick up Jason." It was Nina our Baby sitter. She was a Daughter of Venus and instead of fighting she waved and baby sat kids while their siblings trained.
We got out of the water as quikly as posible. We ran to our towles as quickly as posible.when we got there Boby gave me a lumpy package.
"here" he said
"what is it?" I asked
" a birthday present" I unwraped it and found a box. I side the box was a necklace that had a charm that said best friends.
"ah bobby you're the best" i said hugging him"but i thought you and Jas are best friends I'm just there"
"WHAT!!!!!! how can you think that?"
"i mean come on its obivous"
"Dakota" he said looking me in the eye "you are my best friend that won't ever change"
My dream swiched.



sorry it's short.

It's pretty good. Constructive criticism:
It might just be me bit I have to stop and think when you use Da and Jas It kinda ruins the flow. Plus it woulnd hurt to just read over your chapters once there aren't many errors but it'd help. Keep writing :)

POST SOON

i will tonight hopefully

Awesome pleazzzz post!!

i'm going to try to poat on saterdays or maondoy both are usesally good but i can't get up the nerve to actully post.

wow i really need to post


continueed

It was jason me and bobby. along woth reyna and hazel. they both had just come to camp we were all just 10.we were all friends for a couple years but then bobby and hazel started to date and started to leve jason reyna and me out.it didn't bother me too much but i was sad on the inside. then reyna and jason started to date and they left me out. bobby and hazel and jason and reyna started to do stuff as couples i was always aloud to come but it was always ocweird. a year later gwen came and we became really close friends but she was no bobby. then the war with satern came around and we allteamed up with jason to fight off his armys. thinks seemed to go back to the way they were but they didn't jason and bobby both had moved on from me a nd i was still holding on to the past i wasn't ready to let them go.


ch.4
(dakota)

we were about to leave camp when hazel ran up to give bobby another good bye hug and kiss.
" oh my gods thats like the 17 one." reyna said
Hazel was really pretty she had bright blue eyes but were red from crying. she also had long black hair with thick waves. i couldn't help comparing myself to her. all i had was plain blonde hair and green eyes what guy wanted that. i was a daugter of apollo for gods sake why would anyone chose me over a daughter of venuse. hazels banges were perfest while my hair wouldn't alow me to do bangs. i shock my head and exited my trance.
"come on lover boy"i said to bobby "we need to get to the wolf house befor next year" hazel shot me a glare that i egnored.
"wait "laney said" the prophicie soaid bewear the ground"
"right" percy said "we can't take a car"
"percy can't fly eing a son of posidon" bobby said
"wait guys i can fly a pegusas" he said
"you can?" lillian asked
"ya posidon invented hourses from sea waves"
"coll"i said " to the stables"

_________________________________________­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­__



we took 5 pegasi Summer, August, Shift, Sparkle, and Kyle(haha)
we reached the wolf house about seven.
"lets set up camp here" bobby said
"cool "i said
"i got water"percy said
"i've gotfood covered im good with plants"lillian said heading off with percy
"i'll take care of wood"reyna said who also headed off
"guess we got camp set up"
"cool"




next ch bobby i'll try to post alot sooner

Yayyy u posted awesome chapter!! Post sooner pleazzzz and can't wait!!:)

OMG that was awesome!!!

glad you guys liked it


ch.5
(bobby)


Dakota looked great. Her sandy blonde hair looked amazing it reflected the way sunset. Most girls couldn't pull the whole purple shirt look but she totlaly could. she knew just the right colors to put with it and the right exceceries. whoa i caught myself. I like hazel. Right?
"i think our tent is fit for a king." i said
"a king with low standereds" she replied
"ya well its still a king"
"hey guys heres some firewood could you guys start building the fire?" reyna asked
"sure" dakota replied while pulling some matches from her bag"help me?"
"whats the magic word?" i said
"please" she said
"acctually it was monkey but since you are so kind i'll help anyways"we built the fire when i noticed something around her neck. i reached for it.
"hey whats this"i asked once i saw it more clearly i couldn't belive my eyes"no way is that the neclace i gave you when we were like 7"
"9"she replied. i pulled out my key chain that had my charm on it. dakota gasped" i can't belive you still kept yours"
"why?"
" when hazel came i thought you forgot all about me"she said. this crushed me is this really what she thought.
"Haz is my girl friend your still my best friend. she's great but could never replace you" she smiled but i could tell it was fake.
"thanks bobby its ...reasuring to know."i was about to say something eles when lillian came up.
"key guys i found some edible barries" she said
"great to night we feast " i replied
_________________________________________­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­__



Once every one got back to camp we decided to just eat the baries. percy took first watch so of course i had a dream but it wasn't good.
i was standing in the fortress with both dakota and hazel. they each wanted me to come to them. then hazel started crying so i went over to comfort her. as soon as i reached herdakota said" you did forget about me." i wanted to run to her and tell her no that i didn't but then she started to fall. i woke up to reyna shaking meand wispered"your watch"

Awesome !!!!! And awww Dakota feels like booby doesnt care about her!! Great chapter can't wait till you post again!!!:DDDDDDDDDDD

Wow. Poor Dakota! :( o.O

glad you all like it :)



ch 6
(bobby)



in the morning we finished off the berries and percy told us where we were heading.
"mnt. tameis were geae is holding them." he said
"oh gods the fight with Kois was there" reyna said
"i've had some pretty bad fights there my self"he said
"well lets get started we can't stay on the ground for long" lillian said

_________________________________________­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­___­__

" hey " i said" you okay?" i asied dakota
"no"she grumbled
"whats wronge"
"i'm not sure i want to find jason"
"what?!?"
"i don't want to be left out again because you and jason are to wraped up in your girlfriends to have any time for me"
"when did that haped?"
" as soon as reyna and hazel came to camp"
" that didn't happen"
"yes it did. you completely left me out and later so did jason. sure i had gwen but she's no substitute for a best friend and you know it!" she screamed
"well that dosen't mater any more your still my best friend"
" don't you get it! you haven't been acting like my best friend
with that she stormed away.




sorry its a little shorter than yesterday. hope you like it.

Ohhhhhhhh Dakota getting mad !!!!! Awesome !!! Loved the chappie!!!! Can't wait for the next one !!! <3333

i don't like it

















































































































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I LOVE IT.
AAAAAAAAAAWSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOO­OOO­OOO­OOO­OOO­OOO­OOO­OOO­OOO­OMM­MMM­MMM­MME­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EEE­EE!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!­!!!

Ohhhhh. He's gunna get in trooouuubllllle! With certain things, you do NOT want to see a girl angry or crying... This, would probably be one of those things. o.O Looooove it! <33 :D

this is pretty good!