I asked this over on random some time back but wanted to ask here too.

I think that these three factors are the most major things. In my opinion, if two of three are missing then you're not in a debate you're in an argument.

#1 Both people need to have mutual respect for one another as opponents.
This is thee most important thing for me. If one person clearly does not respect the other as a person (or at the very least) as a debate opponent the you just can't have a civil discussion. If respect isn't mutual it just becomes a mess. Every now and again I'll debate a person who seems like they won't respect me, just to see if I'm maybe interpreting things wrong. But 50-50 for how that goes.

#2 Both people have to enter with an open mind.
I absolutely will not debate anyone who doesn't meet this criteria. I have come across so many people who enter a 'debate' or a 'discussion' with their mind already made up. If you're entering a debate with a complete unwillingness to hear the other side, then what's the point? For a healthy debate you need to enter willing to hear the other side and possibly change your point of view. I feel like a lot of people are just so afraid to admit that they are wrong or even just partially wrong. A good debate is one where both parties leave feeling like they learned something. Maybe you find that you actually agree with some aspects of the opposing side.

#3 Both people have to read and/or listen all of the other's points all the way through.
If you can't be assed to read all of the person's points then that just indicates that you aren't willing to listen. I've run into people who pulled the, "I read x and I don't even have to read any further." Like yes. Yes you do. That's how a debate works. You read all of the points and address them. And to say something like that shows that, at worst, don't respect your opponent and, at best, you're being lazy.

Also #3. It's pretty annoying to spend half an hour researching and responding in detail to someone, only to have them reply with a flippant one-liner. But for me that sorta falls under the umbrella of "mutual respect" (#1) anyway.

As for #2... you should give the other side a fair hearing ofc, and give them credit when they make good points. One of the biggest problems with debating online is that it's performative - you're not just discussing with the other person one-on-one, you also have an audience. And that can discourage people to admit they're partially wrong or wrong entirely. People are much more willing to concede that they're wrong offline and face-to-face.

Dude yes. It's even worse when they hit you with something like, "I read x statement and didn't have to read any more, your whole argument is invalid/wrong."
Like no, actually you do have to read the rest of the comment because there are more points below that one even if you disagreed with one aspect. For seconds, even if you disagree with the whole comment by the end; the whole point of a debate or discussion is to read the comment and respond to it! Like it pissed me off so much when I put effort into a comment (granted it was over fandom shit) only to be hit with, "you're wrong because I don't like that one point."

And I agree about the online thing. I feel like people are just out there to make themselves look cool and woke. And if that's all that's happening then what's the point in the long run? I like to debate and discuss so that I can learn about new things and get a wider perspective on things. If a debate is good then I'll leave it feeling good whether it was my point of view that was changed/altered or the other person's. Imo that's what a good and healthy discussion is! With online stuff it just seems like people do it to get praise when they one up someone else. Or (more innocently) they are embarrassed to admit that they are wrong because, as you mentioned, there's an audience. .

First 1 is very important. Cuz without respect, we cannot understand each other. Will have bad communication. Heated argument.