There's a new App on the Android Market that allows you to generate MILLIONS of random phrases and insults that Charlie Sheen might say. It's called Charlie Machine and its friggin' hilarious.

Here are some examples:
I'm an epic punch to the face. I will psychically reprimand you with my wizardly Jedi mind tricks. The next one goes in your mouth.

I'm a noble force to be reckoned with. I will furiously illuminate you with my mutant reasoning abilities. The scoreboard doesn't lie.

You're a polluted vagabond. I will frantically shrink your brain with my wizardly pet dragon. You can't process me.

You're a friggin' bible gripper. I will ultimately nullify you with my clairvoyant history lessons. Your perimeter has been breached.

You're an entry-level foe. I will intellectually thwart you with my gnarly Vatican Assassins. Ask the Pope.

I'm an unfathomable magician. I will hysterically martyr you with my supernatural skills. Boom! Print that, People.